Book Review: "No Excuses" by Brian Tracy


After coming back from my day job, it was a problem to make time for reading besides exercising and doing house chores. Then I found that I could download audiobooks for free YouTube and listen to them as I'm doing walking or doing chores - it was more useful than listening to music.
In No Excuses, the self-development and motivation expert Brian Tracy profoundly talks about how people excuses prevents us from tapping into our real potentials and how to overcome them.
The ones who read it would notice that I added some notes that are no mentioned on the book. I wrote them as I recalled some notes from other sources that are reared to the topics in the book.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to break off the chains that holds him down and rise to his real level.

My Favorite Notes:

  1. Live up to your word: Either do what you say you'll do, or never say it.
  2. Surround yourself with the top %20 of people in your field . This would help you to gain more knowledge and experience. The more you learn, the more you earn.
  3. There are three keys to success: decide what you want, decide on the price (what you need to give up on) you'll have to pay to get what you want, and resolve to pay it. Everyone wants to be successful, but not everyone is willing to pay the price.
  4. Every time you take a step towards your goal - no matter how small - makes you stronger, and every time you do something that takes away from your goal - no matter how small - it makes you weaker.
  5. If you want others to respect you, respect others first. If you want to be valued by someone, value others first. If you want to be forgiven, forgive others first. If you want to be important, make others important to you. Start doing all of these with your family first.
  6. In the military, soldiers are told stories about the values and duties they need to do. The more they listen and discuss these stories, the more they adopt these values and perform well in combat.
  7. Your life is a movie, a game, a novel (whatever you call it) and you are the main character. It's up to you to change your story, no one else.
  8. Failure is not an option: Keep moving towards your goals everyday. "Failing is not falling, it's to remain down," (Mary Pickford).
  9. Courage: The main difference between a hero and a coward in the battlefield is that the hero stays 5 minutes longer. You need discipline to deal with your fears.
  10. The key to become successful is to aim for excellence. Two hours each day will get you to the top.

Other Notes:

  • Self-discipline is the most needed skill for success. Without it you'll never succeed in anything, and you can succeed in almost anything with it.
  • Most successful people think long-term: They make sure that their short-term actions contribute to their long-term goals. Successful people aim at long-term happiness and fulfilment, whereas unsuccessful people aim at short-term happiness and stress relief. Think long-term to be successful, otherwise you'd be wasting your time.
  • The more you practise self-discipline, the easier it becomes an automatic habit. The less you practise it the opposite happens. Developing self-discipline makes you happier, stronger, and have a wonderful life.
  • If you had a magic wand that would change everything you don't like about your life and character, how would it look like: Which company would you work for? How much money would you make? Where would you live? What would your family life be like? How would your fitness be?... After you answer these questions, think about what you the ideal YOU would be doing to live like that, and how to get there?
  • Brian used to be an average guy only qualified for physical labour. He was paid very little and did the bare minimum not to get fired. One day he realised that it was his life and it was up to him to save himself. He started to read in his free time, went to the bookstore to learn more from books, and did more than was required from him. As time went by, his condition improved.
  • You reap what you sow: If you want to achieve a particular goal, look at what steps you need to do to achieve it and repeat those steps.
  • Be a life-long student of your craft: There was a dentist who was referred to as "The Dentist of the Dentist." He was the dentist that other dentists went to when they needed excellent dental work. He told Brian that he became so good because he would always attend conferences and discuss with other dentists the latest developments. In one of these conferences he learned about a technique that makes teeth look prettier. As he applied that technique more people came to him, and he could increase his fee. He retired at the age of 55, financially independent, travelling with his family and fulfilling his dreams.
  • If you don't use it you lose it: A salesman approached Brian after one of his seminars and told him that what he teaches stops working after a period of time. The salesman said that at first he was inspired by what the Brian said, so he started to read about sales, listen to audio programs, attend seminars, and became the best salesman in his company; then he joined another company, but then his salary dropped as he couldn't make sales as before. Brian asked him what he did differently at his new job. The salesman thought about it for a moment then said: "Oh my God! I stopped doing it. I stopped reading about sales, listening to audio programs, and attending seminars!"
  • Children imitate everything they see their parents doing: Practise the values that you want your children to have. If they see you calm, cheerful and disciplined, they will imitate you. You also need to talk with them about these values: Explaining values once is not enough, you should do it repeatedly, give examples and train them to adopt those values. The Rockefeller children were famous for being taught financial values at an early age. Although their father was one of the richest men in America, the children had to do tasks and chores to receive their allowances, and they were instructed on how to spend their allowances: How much to save, how much to invest, and how much to spend. They grew up to be successful businessmen and statesmen.
  • Tell the truth, even if it's inconvenient. This makes people respect you more.
  • Back when you were a child, your parents took care of you: They decided on what you should do and should not, and you had to listen. As you grow you need to make your own decisions, but due to old habits, you might still feel that it's up to someone else to lead you, and if something is wrong, then it's someone else's fault. Thus you escape taking responsibility - this might feel good in the short-term, but in the long-term you'd be missing everything you could have achieved if you took action.
  • We tend to blame others for whatever goes wrong: In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins talk about a drunk man who accidentally shot himself while placing his gun next to him, and his wife sued the gun manufacturer because he didn't place a device that protects drunk people from such accidents.
  • You're not responsible for everything that goes on, but you're responsible for how you respond to it: In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins says that he went to Hawaii once to watch a sun eclipse. There were many people who were waiting outside for this moment, but just around that time the clouds blocked the sky and everyone had to watch the eclipse from a large screen. Someone got so furious he couldn't see it as he planned that he broke his camera, another one enjoyed every moment of the eclipse. Instead of blaming others, look for reasons why you're responsible and take action to fix them or learn from them and do the best thing you can do at the moment.
  • Most people believe that happiness is the absence of negative emotions. This can be viewed in two ways:
    1. We tend to stay away from anything that would disturb us. Thus we end up not doing anything at all.
    2. When you blame someone for something wrong, you'd feel angry/sad/upset about it.
These negative emotions if accumulated would damage your relationships with others, your physical and mental health. The best way to erase any negative emotion is to take responsibility for whatever that happened. You may not change the situation, but you can change your response to it.

  • If you keep blaming others for what's wrong, then you're a child (The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up). If you take responsibility, you're a man.
  • The best cure to any negative emotion is action: Be so busy with doing the things that are important to you that you don't have time to think about those emotions.
  • Writing down your goals, planning what daily/weekly action you need to take to achieve it, and setting deadlines is as important as having goals. This gives you a map on how to get to where you want to go.
Psychologists say that you must have a goal and pursue it, because hope only comes when you're pursuing something. Brian says that you must also write down your goals and how to get there as it would motivate you to work on them on a daily basis.
  • 7 Steps to achieve goals:
    1. Be clear about what you want: Instead of saying "I want to be rich", say how much money you want to earn.
    2. Write it down: Writing down your goal helps you draw a map towards your goal.
    3. Deadlines: Setting deadlines makes you more motivated to get the job done despite the pressure - you may set mini-deadlines to minimise the task at hand and make it more manageable. Setting realistic deadlines is crucial or else you may neglect your wellbeing, health, and family. If you achieve your goal by the deadline then reward yourself with something you like: Hanging out with friends, watching your favourite show, watching comedy films, etc. If you don't make it on time, then set a new deadline.
    4. Write down everything you need to do or stop doing to achieve your goal.
    5. Set sequence and priority for what you need to do (Eisenhower's Time Management Matrix).
    6. Take action on your plan.
    7. Do something that would move you towards your goal daily.
  • The Ten Goals Exercise: Write down at least 10 goals that you would like to achieve this year - don't worry about how you'd get there, just write it down - then draw a circle on the one goal that would benefit you the most this year and move towards it. Brainstorm to find out how to achieve that goal in ways you never thought about - write at least 20 ways, select one.

  • Your thoughts change your internal world, and your internal world changes your external world.
  • Aristotle: "We are what we repeatedly do."
  • Your earning ability is your most important asset. You may lose your car, home and everything you have, but with your earning ability you can get them all back and more.
  • We live in a world that develops non-stop: What you know today will be old by tomorrow, so you should have a growing mindset that keeps on learning new things.
  • Berterd Russelman: "The very best proof that something can be done is that someone has already done it."
  • The %3 Rule: Invest %3 of your annual income in yourself to keep growing. If you earn $20,000 a year, invest $600 in yourself: Buy books about your field, attend seminars, and hire coaches who coach you on how to improve. The more you invest in yourself, the more you perform well on your job, and thus you would get a bonus. Your future depends on it.
  • 3 Steps to become successful in your field:
    1. Read for 60 minutes daily in your field.
    2. Listen to educational audios in your car.
    3. Continuously take courses and attend seminars in your field and think about how to apply what you learned.
  • If you're not getting better at what you do, you're getting worse. You never stay where you are, unless you're practicing.
  • Psychologists say that the more you watch TV, the more you'll be de-energized and overweight. When you leave your TV off, you'd laugh more with your family, engage more in the real world, and enjoy life more.
  • Ask yourself: "Is there a way to improve my productivity by %0.1 today and the next and the next?" As happens with compounded interest, overtime you would start to see results.
  • How to improve your life:
    1. Wake up two hours before you have to be at work. Invest the first hour in yourself by reading something educational, motivational or spiritual. This sets you mentally for an excellent day. If you read for an hour, you would finish a book in a week, and 50 books in a year - how would this improve your educational background or your motivational and spiritual state?
    2. Write down your goals everyday without looking at what you wrote the day before. This would trigger your subconsciousness into taking action.
    3. Plan your day in advance: This would help you to know your priorities and get the most out of your day.
    4. Focus on one task at a time.
    5. Listen to educational audios while in your car: Many people improved their lives by merely listening to audios in their car. This taught them a lot, and you can do the same.
    6. After every event or meeting ask yourself: "What did I do right?" and "What can I do differently?" These questions pinpoint what you're doing right and what you can do better next time.
    7. Treat everyone like a million dollar customer: The more love you give, the more you'll get.
  • Fake it till you make it: Act as if you already have what it takes till you have it. Visualise yourself doing it, it serves as a set instructions to do what you need to do.
  • To eliminate the fear of rejection from their salesmen, a sales agency has a daily price for the person who gets rejected 10 times. Everyone sits down and starts working to win the prize. By the time it's over, their fear of rejection would be gone.
  • The best way to conquer your fear is to identify what scares you and deal with it immediately.
  • Leaders have two qualities:
    1. Visualisation: They have a clear vision on where they want their organisation and themselves to be in the future.
    2. Courage: They do what they have to do regardless of their fear. There are two types of courage:
      • The courage to take action regardless if you'll succeed or fail: Most people don't take action due to their fear of failure.
      • The courage to hold on when the odds are against you: Some people work hard for two months and give up because they didn't see results.
"I've worried about many things in life, and most of them never happened" Mark Twain.
  • Whenever you worry about something, write a disaster report about it:
    1. Identify what worries you.
    2. Write what's the worst thing that could happen because of it.
    3. Accept the worst possible outcome and go on.
    4. Begin to improve on the worst. Be so busy working on your goals and solving your problems that you don't have time to worry.

  • Success is the outcome of persistence, and failure is the outcome of lack of persistence. Persistence is the reward itself. It makes you feel good everytime you persist.
  • Whenever something goes wrong, remind yourself that life is coaching/testing you to see what you're made of. Setbacks are part of life, so you have to go on. Blaming others on what's going on will only make you angry and resentful. Remember, you're an adult, not a victim/child, and you're responsible for your life.
  • You need to be positive to be resilient and persistent. Look for the good in every difficulty and focus on the solutions instead on focusing on the problem. In life it doesn't matter how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.
  • Make a list of ALL the work you do in a month, then ask yourself: "If I could do only three tasks all day long, which tasks would they be?" Circle them and focus on doing them first. The rest is only complimentary work.
  • Time is money, and you can never take a second back, so spend it wisely.
  • Many people would spend a lot of time and effort to perform well on tasks that are of little to no importance to their boss, which renders them undervalued. It's best to talk with your boss on what tasks are more important than others.
  • The fastest way to be promoted is to work on work time: Don't surf the internet or talk with others about non-work related topics on work time. If someone asks you: "Do you have a minute?" tell them: "Sorry, but I'm working right now. How about we talk at lunch break?" Whenever you get distracted or slow at work, say to yourself: "Back to work."
  • When Brian started working for a large company he was at the bottom of the pyramid and everyone was ahead of him, but he did something different than them: Whenever his boss would give a job to do, he would immediately work on it and go back to his boss with the job finished. His boss would thank him: "I didn't need it now, but thank you." Brian would also ask his boss for more responsibility: "I'm all caught up. I want more responsibility". Six months later, whenever the boss wanted something to be done quickly, he would call Brian. One day his boss wanted Brian in a couple of weeks to fly to another area to begin developing on a property the company was purchasing for $2 million. Brian flew there the next morning. After talking with several people he found out that the land was actually undevelopable due to its lack of water and it would take a 100 years to develop it. This would have cost the company $2 million, but Brian found out about it just a few hours before the transaction was done. He immediately stopped the transaction and flew back to the office to report about what happened. His boss was happy with what Brian did and gave him more responsibilities. Within a year he was running three divisions of the company, had a staff of 42 people in three cities, and his boss was paying more than anyone else who worked for him.
  • The Success Formula:

    1. Come a little earlier: Be there before your boss.
    2. Work harder: Don't chat with coworkers and be distracted on work time. Work a little harder.
    3. Work one hour later than your coworkers: Do some more work and organise your work for the next day.
If you come one hour later earlier and leave one hour later than you can work for two hours with no interruptions.

  • 40+ Formula: If you only work 40 hours a week then you're an average worker. Make it a habit to do more than you're paid. This would be an investment for your future success.
  • If you want to be one of the top people in your field, then dress and act like one. Watch how they do their work, ask them what books they recommend and how they manage their time - most of them would gladly help you. Your boss would likely promote those who look ready.
  • If you want to get a raise, increase the value of your contribution to your company.
  • 7 Principles of Leadership:

    1. Clarity: Being absolutely clear about who you are, what you stand for, your goals and visions and how to achieve them; and the purpose and values of your company.
    2. Competence: Your goal is to make your company as good as or better than your next competitor, and always seek ways to improve your product and services to your customers.
    3. Commitment: The leader must be fully committed to his organisation and belief that it will be the best. This belief would fuel company motivation and passion for work and would inspire others to do their best as well.
    4. Constraints: The leader must be aware of the constraints that slow down and hinder the company's performance and take action to lessen those constraints as much as possible.
    5. Creativity: He should be open to new ideas and ways that would improve the products and services for the customers.
    6. Continuous Learning: The best master is the one with a student mentality. He should attend seminars and courses to improve his skills and capabilities, and encourage others to do the same. He knows that the best companies have the best trained people, the second best companies have the second best trained people, and the third best companies have the third best trained people.
    7. Consistency: The leader is consistent and reliable. He doesn't change from day to day and doesn't get blown in the wind. This makes the employees comfortable because they can always rely on their leader no matter what.

  • Crisis is inevitable in the life of a leader. It's in these moments that he should remain calm, cool, objective, and completely in control. He should ask questions, assess the situation accurately and take necessary measures to minimise the damages. He doesn't share his fears and concerns with his staff as it would only cause commotion in the company. It's only when you stay calm in all situations that everyone would be willing to take your lead.
  • He never talks bad about someone in front of others, regardless if that person was around or not. If there's a problem with someone, he would address him privately away from others. He frequently asks himself: "How would the company be if everyone was like me?"
  • Real leaders never take anything for granted. They plan, prepare, and check every detail. They act as if they own the entire company, take full responsibility and wouldn't blame others for what's going wrong.
  • The first law in economics is scarcity: There is never enough for anyone. Someone always needs more of your service.
  • You should be confident in what you do, but you must avoid being overconfident as it may lead to disastrous outcomes.
  • Your competitors are seeking ways to take away your customers, employees and profit from you. The only way to stop them is to try everyday to outthink them.
  • Test your assumptions: %95 of entrepreneurs fail to achieve high income because they're overconfident that their product/service would work. You should test your assumptions and study the business or idea carefully before committing to it.
  • Identify your ideal customer: This would save you time as you already know to whom you want to sell your product.
  • The key measure of business success is your customers' satisfaction: You should provide them with better products and services than your competitors. The main key measure for customer satisfaction is repeated business: If your customers are satisfied from the last time they purchased something from you, then they will do it again, and they would recommend you to others.
  • Question: "Being successful in business takes immense effort and time, so why start a business now when you can manage without it?"

Answer: "Time will pass anyway. 10 years from now you will be 10 years older, and you would either be a successful businessman, or just an ordinary guy struggling to make ends meet like everyone else."

  • Sales is what brings money to the plate in any company. If a company is majoring at the top, it means that it's making lots of sales, and the opposite can be true. Sales is a hard skill to master, but it will worth it. You should analyse what are the %20 of products and services that make %80 of the sales, and seek new or better ways on how to sell them more.
  • You should spend %75 of your time with your salesmen when they're meeting customers, making presentations and sales. You can do the paperwork earlier or later, but when customers are coming in, you should focus on sales.
  • Ask yourself daily: "Does what I'm doing make sales?" If not, then stop it and focus on sales generating tasks, and tell everyone involved in sales to do the same. Focus on better prospects to succeed.
  • The fear of rejection undermines a sales career way more than any other factor. Overcome it to make sales. You can do it by working on high aspects.
  • Don't take rejection as something personal. Rejection is something normal in any commercial environment and it's not something personal, so don't take it thus.
  • "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" Winston Churchill.
  • As a salesman, if your salary is based on the number of minutes you spend with a customer, then all you have to do to get a raise is to use your creativity and skills to increase that time. Focus on building prospects instead of taking the path least resistance and procrastinate.
  • Ask yourself frequently: "If I was to start my company all over again, what products and services I wouldn't bring to the market, and which products would be the most profitable?"
  • How can you improve your customer service so customers may come again and recommend you to others? How can you get more qualified leads from your advertisement and marketing activities? How can you make more sales from your prospects or how to get more prospects? List 3 ways for each.
  • You cannot control a sale, but the factors that lead to a sale are completely under your control. For that you must have the discipline to plan your activities everyday and resolve to follow that plan.
  • When Brian started his own company, he worked on a plan concerning everything, but a year later he didn't do anything significant and almost went bankrupt. He then realised that he neglected sales, so he made a sales plan, and in two months he did more work then he did in the entire last year.
  • The best way to avoid procrastination is to work as if someone is watching you.
  • All sales skills are learnable. Every successful salesperson out there was doing poorly at the beginning. The only limit to what you can do is you.
  • Most people remain poor not because of their low income, but due to their lack of self-discipline in money. They would spend all their money on short-term pleasure rather than to save or invest in it.
  • Set a bank account to save in it the money you want to save for financial independence and resolve not to use it on anything else. If you want to buy a car or something else, set a different account for it, but your financial independence must be your priority. If you find it difficult to save money then start by saving %1 of your monthly payment. You can increase that number later.
  • Most of the people who attend Brain's seminars say that their life would be easier if they earned more money. Brian asks them how many of them have doubled their income two times, three times, ten times till now, and almost everyone raises their hands. Brian makes his point that no matter how much money they make, it won't be enough as long as they don't spend it wisely. He advises everyone that whenever someone gets a raise, they should take at least half of that raise and deposit it to their financial freedom account. If they kept on doing this, they'd become rich by the time they retire. They'd also become happier in everything else they do because they didn't run out of money.
  • How you spend your time today determines your tomorrow's quality. You have a limited amount of time, so invest it in things that return lots of value to your life.
  • If you want to know how important something is for you, look at how much time you spend on it. Some people say that their career is the most important thing for them, yet they spend several hours watching TV. Some people say that family is the most important thing for them, yet they spend several hours outside socialising with their friends. Only your actions truly show how important something is for you. You must make the discipline to consciously decide on what are the most important things for you and solely focus on them.
  • Companies make strategic planning to organise their resources in the most profitable way with the least damage possible. You have to make personal strategic planning on how you're going to spend your mental, emotional, intellectual, and physical energy in a way that benefits your life the most.
  • Before you start doing anything, ask yourself: "Is this the best use of my time?"
  • Brian suggests that every evening we should make a list of all the tasks we need to do the next day and organise them according to Eisenhower's Time Management Matrix, and we should work according to that. However, Stephen R. Covey in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" suggests that we should make this list according to the entire week at the weekend, and we should focus on the important but not urgent tasks while doing so.
  • While organising your tasks, you should ask yourself (maybe your colleagues and boss too): "What are the most important three results expected of me?" and focus on getting those results first. Then ask yourself again: "What are my highest valued activities?" and "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?"
  • The top people know that a person rises to the level of the problems he can solve. Every problem is an opportunity for himself to grow. Focusing on the solutions makes us solution oriented and optimistic.
  • When you want to learn something new you start with the basics, and after you become good at those you start with more complicated things. To solve a problem you need a pattern that helps you:
    1. Define the problem: Normally everyone has a different idea of what the problem is, so the first step you need to make is to get the team to agree on what the problem actually is.
    2. Ask: "Is it really a problem?" It might not be worth the fuss.
    3. Ask: "What else is the problem?" Different points of views lead to different solutions, the more points of view you have, the more solutions you can work on, solving the problem becomes easier. Beware of a problem with only one solution. The more solutions you come up with the more valuable you become to your organisation. Thus your income increases.
    4. Ask: "How did this problem begin?" so it may not happen again. Experience from the past helps building a better future. Most problems start small, and could be solved easily if dealt with earlier.
    5. Set a deadline to solve a problem.
    6. Make a decision: Select any solution and take action.
    7. Assign responsibility: Most of the time people don't act to solve a problem because they weren't assigned as responsible for it.
    8. Set a measure for this solution: Knowing what results you want from this solution helps you achieve it.

  • The more you solve problems, the more confident and happier you feel about yourself, and this confidence leads you to taking more action.
  • If you think that your life is being controlled by the outside world, your past, weaknesses or insecurities, you'd constantly feel down and weak inside out and let life slip by. But when you believe that you're the one controlling your life, you'd be strong and bold, and live to your full potential.
  • We do most of what we do to be happy. Here are five ingredients for happiness:
  1. Health and energy: We don't usually appreciate the value of a tooth until we have a toothache. You need discipline to stay healthy.
  2. Happy relationships: We are designed to function in a society, working with other people. The quality of your relationship with others determines how happy or unhappy you are.
  3. Meaningful Work: People only feel happy when they feel that they're giving more than they're taking. You need to find the work that suits you most, and pour your heart into it.
  4. Financial Independence: Having enough money to live the life you want without the need to keep working. Essential for a comfortable retirement.
  5. Self-actualization: Living your best life and doing what you love. It's about being true to yourself and your values.

  • Keys Habits for a healthy long life:

    1. Eat regularly: Eat healthy throughout the day, with preferably 3 hours before bedtime since your last meal.
    2. Eat lightly: Overeating makes you feel sluggish, while light eating makes you feel healthy and alert.
    3. Don't snack between meals: It takes time to digest the meal you ate, and having a snack at the top of the food you're digesting makes the body restart the digestive process all over again, and this may lead to drowsiness.
    4. Exercise regularly: It's best to practise 30 minutes a day or 200 minutes per week, you can even walk.
    5. Wear seatbelts.
    6. Don't smoke.
    7. Sleep properly.
    8. Take days off: Your mind needs to take a break to come back to work refreshed.
    9. Optimism: Optimistic people have stronger immune system than others.

  • Eating healthy is a strong key to live happily. Overeating makes you feel sluggish, and starving yourself can drain you out of energy. Eliminate sugar, salt, and white flour products from your diet.
  • Brain tricks himself to exercise by placing his exercise clothes right next to him before going to bed. People who exercise in the morning are more energetic and disciplined to make it a part of their lives, while people who delay exercises till after work tend to delay it to another day because they feel tired.
  • Most people are delighted for paying a little more to hire a personal trainer who would help them develop a healthier exercise routine. You'd be more disciplined to show up on time if there's someone expecting you to be.
  • A 68 year old woman saw on television a program that interviews people who started running and attending marathons in their 50s. Although she never ran before, she was inspired to start running. She started her exercise routine by walking around her neighbourhood, a few weeks later she started to walk longer distances. Later on she started jogging as part of her walking routine, then she started running. She also bought books and sought advice about how to run better. Later on she started attending marathons. If a 68 year old woman could do this, what's stopping you?
  • A happy marriage is essential for a happy life. You need to have shared values between you and your spouse about money, work, children, etc. Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable, but as long as they don't interfere with your values, everything will be fine. You need to remember the importance of communication: Each of you needs to talk and listen to the other. Pause before replying as it will give you more time to process what he said, and to see if he wanted to say something else. Whenever you feel frustrated about something, ask your spouse and children: "Is there something I need to do more of, less of, stop doing at all, or start doing?" These four questions would improve the quality of your relationship with them and lead to a happier life.
  • When kids tell lies, parents tend to think that they did something wrong, but that's not usually the case. Usually kids lie thinking that this might help them get what they want faster. Brain and his wife told their kids that: "You should always tell us the truth. If you lie we'll be upset and punish you, but if you tell the truth we won't be upset and won't punish you." Years later their children said that it's wonderful that they live in a family where they don't have to lie.
  • Kids mirror their parents. They observe their parents and tend to emulate them in everything, so if you act calm and understanding, your children will do the same.
  • Nice and agreeable people are the most successful people. Brian sometimes meets people who would ask and say very ridiculous things, nevertheless Brian always nods his head, listens to them attentively, and doesn't criticise them. At the end they leave happy, feeling that they had a great conversation.
  • Treat everyone with courtesy and concern.
  • You'll live happily and healthily as much as you forgive others. This doesn't mean that you'll approve of the wrong others did, but it simply means that you won't keep bothering yourself about it. Take responsibility, learn your lesson from it, and move on.

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Bir Staocı Filozofu Gibi Ertelemeyi Bırakmak

Triggering Bad and Good Habits